SmartyAtTheParty: Spring Break

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Spring break…I miss you. I used to survive my drinking, now I drink to survive.  That’s the real world.

Seriously… who gets a break anyway? College kids? Like they need a break. Wake up kids… the days of studying, drinking and hooking-up ARE a break.  Try having 2 weeks of vacation ALL year.

So I’m here to grant a few well deserved spring breaks.

#1. To all the haters out there on both sides of the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman war. Seriously, how pathetic that when a 17-year-old is killed… Americans pay him homage by beating up and even killing other people all in the name of “justice”.


#2. Republican presidential nominees. Dear Rick- we’ve already seen you shirtless on a beach vacation thanks to that beautiful photo plastered on the Drudgereport a while back. You need a little sun. Mitt- you’re in the lead buddy, it’s a marathon not a sprint. Newt… I think you’ve already taken a break. Ron… embrace the break, not the “revolution”.


#3. Keith Olberman… the only way you’re “Current” right now is because you’re out the door. Find a new TV gig and get back with me.










#4. All you celeb mothers-to-be. Yes, I’m talking to you Reese, Drew, Jessica, Kourtney. And especially you Ms. Tori Spelling ( I mean really who has sex 4 weeks after having a baby and gets pregnant).Take a break now before the baby comes because you’ll be praying for it during those 3 am feedings. Not to mention the tabloids are brutal post-baby. And let’s be honest, you’re all pretty great but you’re no Beyonce.

So here’s to a nice fruity-drink with a little umbrella on top. It’s spring break. Live it up.